What is love, little me? Believe me it is not “the butterflies you feel inside that makes you immune to reality” crap you are about to tell me! And please trash the idea of ending up with your first love, it did not happen (it happens mostly only in books).
Love is beyond the butterflies, physical attributes, material wealth, finesse, and of course the great sex. All these can only be toppings for the basic bit called love. Yes I call it basic because believe me it is. Love is built from trust, loyalty, honesty, respect and consistency unlike the fantasy you built your idea of love from.
Listen to me, one day, you will understand – because it is something you have to learn – that you need to be yourself and love yourself before you can truly experience love. So stop being miserable trying to earn the love that never was. Love is not earned! And from where I stand now, I know you will be glad it did not work out someday. You will also learn that love is not once in a lifetime like you have been made to believe.